Endless Buts...
For the first time last Friday, I didn't release a podcast episode on a day I was supposed to.
That lapse reminded me that I was human after all and things don't always go as planned, plus I've entered the 'real world' and now seeing 'life'
If you've been listening to my podcast, you would know that I moved to Lagos for my Master's degree (MSc. Environmental Geophysics) at UNILAG. You would also know that I'm simultaneously running an online MBA, heading Nascent Community and Podcasting.
I mean with all these, it is only natural that I lapse in some areas but then before I start making excuses, who sent me to carry all these things on my head?
Anyway, to the main gist...
Have you ever met the kind of people that always want to change your mind? that make you feel like your choices are not valid unless they tally with theirs? that initially start agreeing with you and then add 'but' just before the end of their statements?
Well, I encountered one yesterday
It's good to be introverted and love staying at home but you need to be going out
I love how you are serious-minded and smart but sometimes be playful
I'm not saying that there is something wrong with going to Catholic church, but you are supposed to go to a church where you'll open your mouth, move your body and praise God.
The irony is that the person doing this is not bad, in fact, I count him as one of my close friends who always will look out for me and want the best for me.
And that in itself can become problematic. You do not know better than me what is best for me.
People forget that there are as many ways to live life as there are people on earth, they see their own way or the common way, as the only way, as the best way.
If you pay attention to their endless 'buts', you'll remain friends who are always in sync BUT you'll lose yourself, your individuality and your uniqueness.
So here's what's going to happen...
- You'll verbally reject their subtle impositions at soon as they are making them.
- You are not to do this softly or playfully lest they dismiss your words and think you are joking.
- You must be firm. Insist that you want what you want and don't want what you don't want.
- In a conversation, don't let them talk over you. Always allow them to speak first and when it's your turn, don't accommodate any interruptions.
I know what you're thinking... and no, this will not end your friendship. You add great value to each other's lives in other ways to lose it just because you decide to not lose yourself while relating with them. And if the friendship does end, well nothing lasts forever.
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That you've read to this point does not mean that you should agree with what I've said.
Think about it.
If you agree, good.
But If you think that everything I've said makes no sense, by all means, ignore and stay true to yourself.
Like I've said, don't allow anybody to impose their thoughts on you... not even me.
From Toby, With Love ❤️