God knows I've been trying to write this letter for some time now but I've not been able to.
Like, which mind do I have to come and show my face here after ghosting you people for months?
I also ghosted my podcast, my friends, and myself.
I could come here and talk about how I got a job and wasn't able to juggle them all but that would not be entirely true. Did I get a job? Yes. Was it too stressful to prevent me from podcasting and doing other things I love? No.
So what happened? Doubts started to creep in... I started telling myself things that were not true. “People are not even listening like that so what's the point?”... “The few listens I get are from friends who just click the link to support, it's not as if they find my content valuable”... “And speaking of value, other podcasts are either teaching a particular subject matter, giving some tips and advice or being motivational and I'm here talking about myself. Who cares about what's happening in my life? they have their own personal problems already”... And it went on and on.
To make matters worse, while trying to edit I found out that most of the episodes I recorded with guests have terrible, distracting, background noise. Should I put the episodes out like that? Should I just discard them or do I reach out to all the guests and re-record? Omo, I was just weak nya ehn, ike kwulu oto gwu mu nnoo. I became uninterested in everything and everyone, apart from the job that pays me of course, so I ghosted.
I had quite the time in ghost land. For one, I did a lot of work on changing my mindset. Dismissed all the lies I told myself and opened a folder on my phone where I store screenshots of all my positive feedback as evidence of my work's value. I also decided to get rid of my perfectionism and post the episodes like that, background noise and all. If I get negative feedback and criticisms, I will take them and do better next time.
Walking my way back is a gradual process that has been fun. The first thing I did was to prioritize: work first, Nascent next, then me last.
For Nascent Community, I made sure that at the very least, we maintained our monthly webinars, weekly newsletters, and active WhatsApp community. And then rebuilt the team, got back active on social media, built a website, and are sourcing funds for the organization.
For me, I started with reading books. First I got Ellipses by Mary Badmus, then, I read Blood Money in Tech, and my favorite of them all Heartbeat by Mifa. I also signed up for some online courses of personal interest like: The Circular Economy and UX writing.
I'm also learning that I'm only human and I may not be able to handle everything all by myself, so when I decided it was time to go back to Podcasting, I outsourced the editing of the six prerecorded episodes with guests to allow me time to record and edit solo episodes. I'm looking to outsource content creation for the Podcast's instagram page. If you're up for the job, please reach out.
A new episode is out today and I couldn't be more excited. The episodes with guests will be published weekly over the next six weeks, followed by six additional weeks of solo episodes and then we go lit for another Tobyversary 🎉🥳💃
NEW PODCAST EPISODE ALERT!!!
Ep 95: The Man Next Door episode
About: I met Dominic for the first time at a talk show I was invited to and the first thing that drew me to him?... His personality.
He is popularly known as 'The Man Next Door' and in this episode, we'll find out the origin of the name plus other interesting things about him.
Follow Dominic on Instagram @man.like.dominic
Click HERE to listen to the episode.
I wanted to respond to this immediately I saw it but got lost in the mess that is adulting. But thankfully I remembered before my 30+ default memory gap hit again. Thank you first of all for the recommendation to my novel. Your words were so kind. You have absolutely no idea how that made me feel. I saw that and my spirit was lifted.
Also, please never feel pressured by anything. In my experience ghostlands are just as productive as anywhere else. It can sometimes feel daunting to stay on top of thing and keep going but as long as you are set on what your values are, a trip down ghost land shouldn’t be as dreary as the name implies. Ghost land can be a place to rest, recalibrate and come back stronger.
I am rooting for you and I’m glad you’re back!